Valentine’s Day - Love at the Negotiating table?

Valentine’s Day - Love at the Negotiating table?

Published: Feb 13 , 2019
Author: Suzanne Reijn

Today is Valentine's Day. Are you going to negotiate today? How can you achieve your goals while remaining nice to the other side of the table? 


3 acts of love at the negotiation table.  


Don’t snap their hand off

There are times where a proposal has been presented to you which is, in every respect, acceptable. You are immediately tempted to reach across the table to grab their hand- STOP! This is not an act of love! By agreeing to quickly you are probably going to insult the other side of the tabel by making them look foolish. They will certainly worry that they have been too generous. 

The simple way to avoid this is ask for one more small, non-contentious concession in return for your agreement. 

This has two benefits - firstly you improve the deal, secondly you avoid giving the impression that you were over-anxious to settle. 


Enhance your listening skills

You don’t have to agree with everything they say, for many people the feeling of being understood is all that counts. However, in order to understand the position of the other side, it’s often necessary to enhance your listening skills. 

Generally conversations often resemble trying to join a busy road. You are in a side street waiting for your chance; what are you watching? Certainly not the traffic. You are watching for a gap! 

People do the same in conversations - they are not listening to what the other person is saying. They are simply waiting for them to shut up so they can air their point of view. It is not a dialogue, it is two monologues taking turn about. 

In order to improve your listening skills try the following: 

-  summarize their point of view back to them

  • pause (and breath) before you reply
  • think of your answer after the question not during it

By giving them your undivided attention, you will probably not only find out what matters most to them, but they will surely recognize it as an act of love. 


Give them what they want

Before you now give the whole store away, read further. 

The fastest and simplest way towards an agreement is to take the proposal from the other side and decide under which circumstances you would be willing to agree to the proposal. In other words, give them what the want - however, on your terms. 

This technique ensures that everybody at the table gets what they want, contrary to coming to a haggle solution where usually nobody gets want they want. 

They will certainly love you for it. 


Need A Valentine?

Don’t call us for Valentine advice, but call us to help you make the best possible deals. For you,  but with respect for the other side of the table. The best deals leave all parties happy and ready to implement the negotiated agreement. 

Scotwork can be your advisor, your coach, and your trainer. Whether you bring us in to create your strategy, or help you prepare, or develop your team’s negotiating skills - we can help you win at the negotiating table. 

We’ve been consulting and teaching our proven negotiation methodology for over 40 years. We know the process, we can identify the skills required, and we have the techniques to negotiate better deals for you. Call us and let’s discuss what we might be able to do for you.



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